Children, Inhibition, and Things Unlearned

Of all the roles I play in my day to day life (sister, friend, daughter, student, etc), my favuorite one has to be my role as an aunt. I have three nieces & a nephew & they light up my life. There are times that I've been in a bad mood or angry & as I thought of them I could feel all that negativity drain out of me, being replaced by joy. I count it as a great privilege to have them in my life. I love being involved in their lives, but mostly it's not that I have an influence over them, but they have an influence over me.

I think it's amazing how we think we get smarter as we grow up. In many ways we do, but there's a cost. There are things we forget. My nieces & nephew have a gift that I envy & that's the ability to love uninhibited. Have you ever been loved by a child? It's completely amazing the way that they can love. Children have the power to love regardless of race or gender or social status. To them a friend is just a friend no matter what. All you really have to do is engage with a child and they shower you with this joyous love that can't be matched by anyone over the age of 7. All you have to do is meet them where they're at & they'll love you for it. I remember once I was having dinner at my sister's when James was still in his high chair & we were playing a game. He'd lean his head one way & I would follow suit. Then he'd move his head the other way & again, I would follow his lead. And he would erupt with this joyous laugh. He loved me for simply tilting my head in this simple game. I remember thinking it was amazing how we bonded over this simple thing.

It's like we lose this ability to love over time. I'm not sure if we simply forget as we grow older or if we lose it somehow. Perhaps as we grow up we're told by society that we should be more stern or perhaps over time we build up our hurts & close ourselves off over time, maybe both. In the end we lose this wisdom we had when we were young. I think I remember when it happened with me. When I was young I used to hug everyone & one day someone asked me why I did that. And that day I got the idea in my head that I should grow up a little & stop hugging everyone. I think that's the day I forgot how to love uninhibited.

I'm slowly starting to remember, and the children in my life are helping me. Having them in my life has profoundly increased my ability to love others. When there's a child in your life & you help care for them & play with them you discover a little bit of that joy which you had forgotten. Children take your heart & your ability to love and stretch it until you think it'll snap. And then you discover that it doesn't, that there's more love in your heart than you ever knew. And now that I remember these things I want to protect it in them. I want my nieces & nephew to never forget how to love like they love now. I wish to stand between them & all the hurts of the world. I know I can't, they must grow up eventually. Ever time I see them they've changed. But I hope & pray that they have the strength to remember how to love like a child.